I want to be Alone
I want to be alone
But not lonely
I want my body and
My mind to rest fully
Knowing everything that
Can be done is done
And if some didn’t happen
It must be for a reason
I want to love myself
Despite all the things
I did or didn’t do
I want to sleep before midnight
And wake up at 10am
I want to have a whole day
Of not being there for someone
Or something so I can
Disappear from the world
Without being noticed
I want to breathe deeply
And come back to this body
I call home
To where and how
can I pitch up my tent
On the side of this mountain
So that I can finally lie down
So the whole world can
Witness me sleeping
Next to this giant
Just resting for awhile
Sleeping alone
But not lonely
In the Studio
This week I want to touch on the topic of rest. Because I really want it and I really need it. And because it is such an important thing to address during the Season of Climbing.
Let me first describe to you what I mean by the Season of Climbing.
The Season of Climbing is a season of your life, where you are metaphorically going up a mountain. This mountain represents the path towards your dreams and your goals.
This is a point in your life where you know what you want and you are going after it.
Now I’m not a climber but I have hiked through some high elevations. The highest place I’ve ever travelled to was a city called Quito in Ecuador, which was about 2,850m above sea level. According to Wikipedia, Quito is the second highest capital city in the world.
There is a mountain called Pen y Fan in Wales, which is probably the highest mountain I have climbed in the last two years. It’s 886m above sea level.
Anyone who has ever gone up a higher elevation of some sort, no matter the height, will experience certain moments. Moments of exhilaration, moments of exhaustion, moments of awe, moments of disbelief: Can I really do this? Moments of determination.
I think climbing a metaphorical mountain towards your biggest dream or goal presents a similar experience. In real life, higher elevation means lower levels of oxygen, affecting your ability to breathe fully.
I experienced this in Quito a lot.
All the while you climb, the mountain challenges you and speaks to you in ways that test your faith and commitment.
But we are human beings after all. We can’t go at full speeds without expecting to crash at some point. In fact, I am pretty sure I am in one.
In this newsletter podcast, I am going to explore two things:
How resting is different for those on the Season of Climbing vs.
Those who are travelling on normal ground
And how can we rest on the steep side of a mountain, amidst a climb
Resting is different for those in different seasons
Let’s face it, everyone experiences burn out or exhaustion at some point in their lives. Some more frequently than others. But I really do believe that for those who are in the Season of Climbing, resting will look different to those who are exhausted from living their day to day lives, without feeling the need to go towards a dream or a goal.
And I think it can be a little bit dangerous to listen to the advice of anyone and everyone about rest if you are on the Season of Climbing.
Because no one, as much as yourself, will understand your dream and goal. There is a danger that you will seem crazy in the eyes of those who don’t know of such obsession.
They will think you are over doing it simply because, either they don’t have the courage to go towards their dreams or because they simply want to take a more predictable path.
They may not be balancing a full time job with the remaining time filled mostly with the pursuit of this dream. On top of that, they may not be balancing it with big life changes and family responsibilities. All of which has been my own personal experience.
However, they may be burnt out from their jobs. They may need a change of scenery. They may be balancing work and family responsibilities. The biggest difference is, there is no third entity.
This third entity of a dream, in the beginning, is completely an act of faith we take for ourselves. And if you are someone balancing more than two things, then resting in your own way that allows you to not only recharge, but to stay creative and to gently continue walking up this path might be something you need.
2. How can we rest on the steep side of a mountain?
I don’t have all the answers. In fact I think I don’t have any answers at all. But I can ask some questions and share my views and by doing that I hope it will also help you on your journey.
The thing is, I don’t know if during a climb, we can stop completely.
Stopping completely is for those who are not chasing their dream.
Stopping completely is for those who are already on the top of the mountain.
The reason I say this is because think about the you from the start of this year, hopeful for the year to come and ready to give it your best shot. And you did. Month after month after month, you put in the work, you developed your skills, you engaged with teachers and coaches, you practiced.
To keep stopping and starting is to lose momentum. I don’t mean fast momentum. I just mean your ability to move again. I say that because I’ve been there. I stopped and started along the chasing of my dreams for so long that after awhile, I no longer saw the top of the mountain or even what I was really chasing after anymore.
I was neither the person travelling with everyone else on solid ground nor the person climbing. I had half my foot in and the other half out.
So I want to do things differently this time.
I’ve watched some climbing documentaries starring the notorious climber Alex Honnold. In his latest one, called Arctic Ascent, him and his fellow climbers pitched up two tents on the side of a very very steep mountain. It looked scary as hell!
Was it completely comfortable? Probably not.
Did it allow them to rest their weary bodies and concentrated minds?
Most likely.
Were they still able to keep their souls alive with inspiration?
If sleeping on the edge of a steep mountain doesn’t keep one’s spirit in awe, I don’t know what will! Truly it is living life on the edge!
I think what Alex and his team did is a great metaphor for those of us who are climbing our metaphorical mountains.
They haven’t stopped. But they surrendered to their way of resting.
What kinds of things in our lives will allow us to rest in this way?
Can we give ourselves the grace of an exhilarated moment(s) of rest?
Can we let go of the idea that resting means to completely stop?
Just like Alex and his team cannot afford to climb safely during pitch darkness, we also cannot afford to keep going when there is little fuel left in our imagination.
But I will tell you this. It is important to rest during the Season of Climbing. But we have to find ways where we are able to do this without putting on our own or other’s preconceived notions of rest that we knew before we ever started on this climb.
These questions are worth you and I answering for ourselves. Not for anyone else but us.
And most importantly, we have to allow rest to occur in our own way.
Knowing that we are not stopping, but just pitching up our tent on the steep slope of our mountain. Now how exhilarating is this experience?!
Some housekeeping refreshers:
Firstly, check out this page if you have forgotten who I am.
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With love,
Win
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