Contemplations
Contemplations
You Can Be Alone but Not Lonely (Unexpected Truth No. 1 In Committing To My Dreams)
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You Can Be Alone but Not Lonely (Unexpected Truth No. 1 In Committing To My Dreams)

Featured Poem: Thankful We Met

Thankful We Met

In this life

Sometimes we meet

Very special souls

They can be animals

Or humans

They can be with us

Briefly or for a long time

We don’t know how they

Came into our lives

We just know that

It feels like we have

Known them since

Long ago

I met a friend like this

Recently

He was furry

He was old

But my god he was

A strong little thing

In the loneliest days

Of my life

He kept me company

His head nudging into

My thigh as he fell into

A deep sleep

Prayers giving him

Some peace

That at last

He found a space

That was safe

And in a brief but long

Rhythm of our days

He and I intertwined into

A homely comfort

I worked and he slept

Prayers giving us

Some peace

That at last

We found a space

That was safe

But life is strange

Sometimes those we

Want to keep close

Can never be fully protected

From danger

And danger, he found

In those he thought

would protect and give

Him a home

I lost him overnight

Without a goodbye

Out of my sight

I wept I wept

Knowing karma is always fair

But too fair sometimes

Knowing of life’s impermanence

I am just a human

Whose list of good and bad in

Humanity grows as I age

Whose skin becomes shaped

By scars and kisses of memories

How I wish I could have

Kept him away from danger

But it was his time to go

Too soon but time waits

For no one

And when it is time

Yours and my

Karma will come

So I said goodbye to him today

Feeling that our mutual exchange

Of our way of loving

Will live forever in my heart

In this life, sometimes we meet very special souls

We have indeed known them

Since long ago


In The Studio

This week’s poem is dedicated to a furry friend I lost this week. In reflecting on the first truth I would write about, I found myself reflecting on this very topic: Alone but Not Lonely.

And this is exactly what my first unexpected truth is in committing to my dream. On the outset, it looks very lonely indeed. I am spent long hours on the computer and phone. Editing, writing down ideas, planning. But taking out the modern context of our very real relationship with technology, I want to remind you of the days a painter or a poet would have spent since we as humans ever had the privilege to daydream.

Indeed I am also standing in front of my canvas or my book. It starts with a blank easel and a blank page. Most often it consists of messy paints and imperfections that I see week by week through to completion. I don’t aim for a finish line; I trust that a painting or a poem will end when it is time to end. And so, I spend time with them.

Being firmly into my first year of being so committed to my dream, I’ve realised that I cannot run away from myself. No matter if I am in front of a computer, a canvas or a page, they are all a mirror back to me of whether I distract myself to remedy the discomfort of starting a new piece of work or to dive into the unknown and give myself fully as creative tasks seem to demand from us.

I spend many hours alone, working on my craft. Painting, writing, video editing. They are all an extension, my tools for expressing my creativity and learning. And I might call it my work.

My work in progress mountain lady in all her glory

And as any work does, it demands of us something that we can’t at first quite give yet. But internal satisfaction as an artist is the biggest drug of all when this is the reward for giving into our craft.

I am not lonely because although I may seem outside to be alone, I am indeed conversing with an internal voice and the muses of inspiration. This to me is so much more rewarding than an hour spent socialising in a setting that drains and takes me away from myself.

Society rewards extroverts and fitting in. And yet, a conversation with a very good friend will feed my soul for months to come until I come out of my hibernation again.

Work gets a bad reputation when it is paired with obsession. But I so badly want to make others understand how deeply I am in love with my aloneness. I so badly want to make them understand that I am indeed very ok. Very ok than I have been in a long time because finally I am filling my cup fully.

That I am aware of myself to seek out small social interactions without giving over completely to everyone who wants or needs my attention.

The first antidote in this truth is acceptance. If you are someone like me, someone who can spend long hours being by themselves and having a single point of focus, I want to let you know that this is ok. You are not a freak. You are not a mutant from Mars, though it would still be very cool if you were.

I am done with giving into societal expectations that a life has to look a certain way for us to find belonging.

The second antidote is to find your people. Or find examples of those like you. Who are either on the same journey or have been there and done that, and know what it was like to be in your shoes. In fact, seek out both. I personally like social media and the online world for this.

Despite its vices, like everything in life, it also contains a lot of goodness if you wish to seek it out. After all, I met a few of my most meaningful connections there, not to mention my boyfriend.

You with your work is not lonely. You with your work is not strange.

You don’t always need to fill so many cups, especially in this path of committing to your dreams. Because absorbing yourself into new learnings is already no small but a fun feat.

Know that everybody has their own idea of fulfilment.

Don’t mistake aloneness for loneliness. And don’t label it as a weakness nor like a disease to be diagnosed.

So in your aloneness, ask yourself - what it is that you find fulfilment in? And go forward with that unapologetically.


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With love,

Win

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