Memories
Memories are made over years
Cultivated through small actions
A small gesture
A loving smile
An encouraging word
They build over time
When your world is spinning
Stop and smile
At the world you’ve created
Because everything
Was really in your control
After all
To love
To work
To create
Memories are made over years
Memories are made by you
In the Studio
What memories do you want to make with yourself and with your loved ones? This is a question swirling around in my mind recently.
My business coach, who I’ve built a nice relationship over the years I’ve worked with her, reminded me the other day, “Don’t forget about intention!”
Intention. Something I have forgotten whilst I have spun around over the past few months, in what I felt like was grasping to survive amongst significant life changes.
Truth is I haven’t managed to get a feeling, a true feeling, of grounding in the past month.
July has been a month of moving, packing and cleaning as we help my mum move out of the family house and onto a new life.
It’s been a month of confronting my solitude and aloneness, whilst moving back and forth between feeling lonely and free at the same time as I get my home all to myself again.
I’ve driven on the motorway more than I have done in the past two years between Bath, in the south-west of England, and Wigan, in the northwest of England, where my mum is currently situated. The drive takes about 3.5 hours each way.
In the confinement of each drive, I feel the freedom and space. In amongst personal life changes, I think about how I want to schedule my time going forward. What changes I need to make.
There are difficult questions to answer:
How to trade income for more time.
How to make more mental space for my relationship with my boyfriend.
How to grow in a wholesome way without losing myself.
As I wrote this poem, I am struck by this one thing. When my coach reminded me about intention, I think the first thing to come is giving the space for intention. Giving the space for movement.
Like when you move into a new home, it’s hard to decorate everything at once. Because you haven’t lived in it yet.
You don’t know how you want to use the space. You don’t know how the light hits certain parts of the room so you don’t know exactly how to decorate your walls with paintings and pictures.
Each day in your new home gives small clues and ideas as to how you want to use it.
And I think it’s the same with time and memories.
I am in a rush to feel a more productive, a more disciplined part of myself in my newly gained solitude.
Yet, I am built by the foundations of my relationships over the past few years.
I am in a rush to gain more time.
Yet, first I needed to understand the consequence of trading time with income.
Memories are made first from living them and then getting clarity.
And when the world is spinning, we don’t need to double the speed.
Instead give ourselves the space. To ease into the situation we are currently in.
And then from there, let’s allow ourselves to stop and lead with our heartfelt intentions.
In the Season of Climbing, there often isn’t an easy answer.
It’s ok if we get confused. It’s ok if we demand too much of ourselves.
Most often, this involves compromises and sacrifices made before we get to the top of the mountain. And knowing which compromises and sacrifices we want or need to make is a hard thing to do.
But as I remind myself, and as written in this poem, know that your world is in your control.
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Win
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